erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
