thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
