If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
