just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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