The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
