The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
