I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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