so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
