There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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