Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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