how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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