Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
