Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
