I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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