Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she smelled like a LAN party
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize