Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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