i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
