Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
