I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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