I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
