She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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