maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
