is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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