Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
