I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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