im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
