Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
