He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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