I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
