I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
