i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
