Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
