I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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