I'm going to jail i love you
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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