went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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