forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
