She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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