im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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