3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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