is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
