U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
