Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
