somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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