don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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