It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
