Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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