Don't you send me to vm
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
