So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
