You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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