imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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